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Mr. Brooks

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[08 Dec 2009|01:14am]
All I can say is that I am experiencing what I think many can only dream of in there life time. You are amazing.
Holla @ ya boy

Self Actualization [05 Feb 2009|01:28am]
[ mood | happy ]

Reflections: the best way I know how to present them. Here are 3 photos and metaphors that sum up my thoughts right now:

Reflections of the past. An adventure in a far away land with a dear friend. A culture in contrast to mine, yet so similar and modest I seek. A thorough understanding of the world I grew up knowing so little about. How complex the sun sets as life progresses

So colorful, and so vast. So free my heart, so deep my sol. How much I yearn for these beautiful skys and fresh air. My mind is summed up in this picture many days. Wondering in the vast space of the outside openness, pondering of the wonderful times I have had in my life. Thankful of everything I have, an anxiously awaiting the time in the near future when I will return back in your presents.

Spectacular triumph with bountiful rewards. Not letting setbacks in life deter me from accomplishing happiness and prosperity in life. Basking in the moment, that will set in my mind till the day I rest in peace.

And who can forget the music to go along with it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF24eQFe3hc

A tribute of thanks to many of good I have received in life. Thanks for whoever created this all. Words can't describe the gratitude and joy it gives me.

Holla @ ya boy

[12 Aug 2008|01:17am]

This looks good to me right now. And about the only thing in my life that made since to me and I felt truly happy about with no baggage. I didn't have to climb to the top of these mountains everyday to earn there appreciation. I don't have to hide my relationship with it. They took care of me, and now I want to take care of them in some small way. Its as simple as that.

So as my good friend Karina would say I need to "Get Right". Hopefully that in turn brings me what sounds really good right now.
1 Holla | Holla @ ya boy

[07 Jul 2008|03:47pm]
[ mood | good ]

I have yet to write in this thing since... Colorado... so let me update
Making the long drive back to Colorado was a bit sad... but then again... I was excited to come back home. Got to see a friend (Phil) in Denver I havent seen in like 2 years before I left.
Besides that starting working back at stonybrook again since I really have been too busy to look anywhere else. I have lacked a lot of me time since I have been back home...always doing something. Almost got a job at Working America... but turned it down. I mean im okay with my job... but I'd like somewhere closer... so sometimes soon maybe I'll have a new job...lol... I don't know.
Took a trip up to New York about 3 or 4 weeks ago with my old roommate Jordan and Corey. Had a good time up there... and got to hang out with matt in a night of messed up fun that I will soon not forget. I felt bad for Jordan though...b/c his car broke down when we got up there.. so he ended up buying a new car in Jersey b/c his car was pretty much beyond repair.
I'm soon suppose to hear from UofL to find out if I can take the one class this fall I need to graduate. If not looks like Im majoring in something else besides marketing.
I think I have pretty much decided I want to go back to grad school. I want to get a masters in sustainability or some type of environmental work. I've thought about the idea of being a teacher or a professor too.. so going back to school is a must for that.
Also moved into a new place off St. James Court. I love this place. Its very modest... and I love the location. I honest to god would love to buy this place for my own. There maybe no air but me and my roomate wes are okay with it. I'm actually living with someone who shares my views on using less... which is great!
Besides work I have just been spending most of my time with friends. This summer has been fun, and have really built some good relationships with some friends who I really wasn't super close with before. I was really impress with a 4th party me and wes threw...pretty much everyone I wanted to show up did.
Also been trying to help sarah out with all here struggles on cruches. I feel really bad for her, but at the same time am I happy we live so close now and get to hang out a bunch.
As far as girls go I'm in about the same boat that I was in when I left Colorado... except now I feel pretty happy about my life... and look forward to the challenges of my future. So I don't have the girl for me I want right now, and I guess its okay. I'm not going to lye.. I miss the sex sometimes.... but I have found its so much better when your with the right person... you really can't just substitute anyone for sex. I think an awesome person totally adds to everything a person is...including sex. I like a girl who has opinions on things, who's not going to be passive. I don't want to dictate everything in a relationship I want it to be 50/50. And I just haven't found that girl (that is available) yet. I know there out there though... so I'm not giving up.. and I'm pretty stubborn when I know what I want. I won't stop when I get what I want.. and I think that is a good trait to have... especially from who I was growing up.
I guess that's it. I had moment the other day... ones I get like every 4 months or so if I'm lucky... that I hope happens again soon and more frequently. I guess thats all I could ask for in life right now... and things would be peachy. Also... I need to go camping again soon. That needs to happen.

Holla @ ya boy

[21 May 2008|12:55am]
relationships with people can sometimes baffle me and confuse the shit out of me at the same time. If only all of life could follow the same logical principles then we could all be happy :-).
1 Holla | Holla @ ya boy

President Bush (Worst Pres. in History), please stop fucking everything up [16 May 2008|01:56am]
Stop fucking up our environment even worse: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24658362/
5 Hollas | Holla @ ya boy

Thoughts and deductive logic reasoning on the evolution of Homo sapiens and the existence of god [13 Apr 2008|01:33pm]
So I have currently made it a major priority in my life to prove or disprove what I believe about god using sound indisputable logic. These are the things I have put together in the start of my research:
The Age of the Earth: Approx 3,800,000,000 to 3,900,000,000 based on rock finding on earth. The earth could actually be older but these are the oldest artifacts we have found.
The oldest homo sapiens bones found: 160,000 years old.
That means we only have proof of 1/23,750 of homo sapiens existence.
We have use some deductive reasoning to figure out that homo sapiens did exist much longer than that but we have no visual proof.
So is 3,799,840,000 years enough time for a the entire earth to evolve from the same thing?
This is what I need to know to prove human evolution. I still have a bunch more to learn.

Then there is the existence of the universe and when it evolved. Which is even a more complex idea. What I ponder is the connection between our world and existing universes. Because, in theory, if macro evolution occurs then a new galaxy should, in theory, have some type of planet out there that can support human existence like our own given the correct elements. There is just so many questions I have and we don't have the answers for all of them. But hopefully with some more information I can back up my logic. I have a hard time believing we are the only intelligent life in the universe.

But at the end of the day, even if the big bang did or did not occur human beings will never be able to prove if a god created it or not. Furthermore we will never know if that god interacts with us spiritually or mystically on earth or not. The only proof that we may have is of the speakings of Jesus Christ the only religious profit to claim to be the son of god. There just seems to be so many flaws in the bible...sepcifically in means to the old testament which god apparently affirmed to be truths. So this challenges this makes me question the whole idea of gods divinity.

I look at the world currently in the eyes that there was a creator god... and I have not concluded whether or there is a personal god. I just cant fathom the idea as I sit in this quaint little coffee shop in Durango that everything i see and interact with is all by chance... i think at the least it had to be put in play by a higher power. The mountains tell me that story i believe.

So Im doing a lot of research on the subject and have a long way to go to say the least. Im starting to read so book about the issues i ponder during some of my free time out on my hitches.

Im done for now...but ill be back in 2 weeks with some more ideas hopefully. The more ideas i hear from people and read in book the more informed i am becoming.
3 Hollas | Holla @ ya boy

A meaningful time in my life. [29 Mar 2008|02:37am]
[ mood | happy ]

I moved all my stuff back home then headed for Durango Colorado. This is my home for the next 2+ months at least. I love my job... I love the people I work with. I love working outdoors and I love doing something that I feel really matter..... even at the small level at which I am doing it at. Last hitch I just got back from we worked on a city park in phoenix that is by far the biggest city park i have ever seen in my life. Only second to the city park we stayed in which is the largest city park in the world.
Tomorrow I go skiing at Purgatory and start my next hitch on sun. which will be in norwood colorado. There we will be working on fence removal and making the land free and more open space. Last hitch was a combo of trail blazing and trail fortification for the monsoon season in late summer. I specifically worked on conserving two soaguro cactus that probably had a combined age of 170 years old and a tree that were being compromised by trail erosion.
I like working with like minded people and have learned so much about issues around the area such as environment and boarder issues. All I know is that this is a big stepping stone in my life and I look forward to continuing my work well after this job.
So to all.. have a good night... and remember to hug a tree....b/c there are futile to our existence here on earth.

2 Hollas | Holla @ ya boy

WooooHoooo [18 Feb 2008|01:04am]
[ mood | giddy ]

Andrew Just found out some news that is making him happy as a school boy on prom night! OH YEA.....
To things looking up....CHEERS! I know what I want and I'm not taking no for an answer.

1 Holla | Holla @ ya boy

Deep Thoughts... [14 Feb 2008|06:31pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

"Who Knows Only His Own Generation Remains a Child" is a quote that is engraved in granite above the library at CU Boulder. I love this Quote.... it not only states the importance of understanding where things came from, but also the implications of your actions on further generations.

This day has been quite an experience for me. Truly a day of contemplation and thought as I have had nothing to do for 12 hours while waiting for my brothers flight to Colorado tonight. I chose the cheaper flight, saving me 100 dollars, however, I did not save sleep. I got maybe an hour, tops, sleep last night. Contemplating, what I would do today, which ended up being mostly contemplating. So I just contemplated contemplating.

So, I looked into grad school here. They have a Masters in Sustainability in business. The program looks really interesting and many people that graduated went on to develop start up companies that are developing a more sustainable future. I just have to get a good score on my GRE.

After doing that and wondering about CU's library for a while, I became a yearly donor and member of Environment Colorado, one of the jobs I was possibly interested in getting a job with. I think I made the right choice by applying for and taking the position with the southwest conservation corps instead. While I admire Environment Colorado 's work, the job mostly consist of trying to get people to donate money, and thats about it. I wouldnt mind doing that for a bit, but id rather get someone involved in something and not have to beg for there money. Which reminds me, I guess I didn't mention that I got my job in Durango, and they liked my interview so much they wanted to hire me on as a crew leader. While I gladly would have taken the position, I don't know when I'm going to have to go back to UofL to take my last class, so unfortunately I had to turn down the leadership position and just stick with the crew member job. The Crew Leader position was an intensive 6 month commitment. With my job I will only be thee 8 weeks, and I have the opportunity to go skiing Telluride and Purgatory!

Then finally, after receiving a rose randomly on the street from a girl, that put a smile on my face, I ended up in a local coffee house drinking and exquisite cup of fair trade, low cost, chai latte and listening to Johnny Cash. Sitting staring at this rose makes me realize, there are so many simple joys in life, and dwelling on things that are beyond my control for happiness is silly. I fall into the trap way too easy. Here is to me being stronger!

So, as my little adventure winds to an end, I will hop on the local bus and take the hour and a half drive back to the airport to meet my brother, with my rose in hand...lol. I think I will keep the trend going and hand the rose off to a beautiful girl ( way too many on the streets of boulder) and maybe the trend will continue. I like this Idea. I like Boulder.... its chill, I have no comforts, yet I'm satisfied. I just need to start meeting people here in life will be good.

1 Holla | Holla @ ya boy

Ridin Dirty [30 Jan 2008|12:07am]
[ mood | Jolly and Cold ]

I said I'd write in this things when things were getting better, and they are.
Got my new car today! I like it a bunch. 1998 S70 with only 80K miles. Not bad, plus it has a custom security system with remote start. So on cold mornings, like tom. in which I have to wake up early, I can just start my car and warm it up from my window.
I still need to run back tom. however, as I found out when the freak storm came though tonight that one of my turn signal lights were loose and needs repair. Good thing I still have 60 days warranty where everything is covered.
Speaking of that storm, I went out with the Tues. Night crew tonight and when the freak storm hit the lights went out in Logan's where we ate and the sound was so freakish it sounded like a tornado was coming so me and roy proceeded to duck under the table. When we went out side a light pole had fell down and hit a  car in front of logans and another car was damaged from a sign that had fallen. And you could see all the way down shelbyville road signs had broken all over the place and fire trucks running everywhere. The Mcdonalds sign right off the watterson is all messed up and the big tin pin lanes sign and the babies r us signs looked like they where about to fall over. It is had to believe just wind could do that. I have a theory a mini tornado blew through the area.

But besides all that, I have my interview with the southwest conservation corps tom. and im really hoping I get this job! I need to get to bed or I would write more. I have an advising future tom. morning to discuss my future at UofL.

1 Holla | Holla @ ya boy

Life [03 Jan 2008|02:14am]
It's been almost a year since I wrote anything meaningful.... so here is goes. Holding things in for this long is not a good thing.

 On the surface, life is good. I have got to hang out with many of my old friends this past summer, during the break, and reignited lots of relationships with friends I haven't seen in a while. Through these relationships I have had the oppurtunity to meet many great people and create new relationships that are very meaningful to me. However, outside of this, I'm missing the one relationship I want the most. While I have had the oppurtunity to date several people in the past year, I have not met that person for me. I have actually had the strength not randomly hook up with people, and stick to being me, not compromising who I am, at least not yet.
 I'm just tired, of liking and not being liked in return. I think I would rather be single my whole life not liking anyone, then liking someone and having them not give two shits about you. I just want to be able to let it go, and forget it. I try and try and try and try and did I mention try, to put my emotions aside and wait patiently. After waiting for now a year for some sort of answer, I get nothing. It almost is in a since like I'm invisible to the world. People around me are in happy, healthy relationships, and people around me and people I like don't seem to care that much. And loving someone and not being able to let that go, is very painful, I have said it before. This time it really does hurt the most. Why does this continue to happen to me? I almost feel like I set myself up for this, and I fear I keep my distance from girls just out of fear. So lets be honest about things. I loved and cared about Sarah Maddix more than any girl on this planet.
 So that sucks, and school is a big mess, and it is 5 day till the semester starts and I don't know if I'm going to be able to take my 1 class I need to graduate this semester because no one seems to want to return my calls or e-mails. So, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, I feel I'm further away from my goals then I was yesterday, and I work a job where basically I go in and act like a robot for 6- 14 hours a day.

That felt good, I'm done for now. I will write again when I'm a bit happier and organized about my life.
1 Holla | Holla @ ya boy

Only when you fully understand yourself can you understand life [10 May 2007|02:14pm]
I stress out way too much.

There are 3 of me. What my family wants me to be, what I want me to be, and the person between the 2. Im trying to narrow the gap between the 3, in some areas, but am widening the gap in other areas.

I like comfort, but when i get too comfortable I get antsy and have to do something else.

It's good to know what you want but you have to be willing to compromise

Music is good.
Holla @ ya boy

YES!!! [01 May 2007|06:13pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I GOT A B in FINANCE!!!!!!!! LIFE IS GOOD!! 3.0

2 Hollas | Holla @ ya boy

A note to god, [30 Apr 2007|01:25pm]
Please god, if you never again grant me anything else in my life grant me this one thing; please just give me a C in finance. Or just pass me... but i really really need the C. I never want to have to deal with finance/accounting again in my entire life! Thanks partner... that would be sweet!

On that note, I'm counting down the hours left in my last full time semester. Whoot!
Holla @ ya boy

Success [29 Apr 2007|12:32am]
My brother and his wife got married tonight, and will both have sex for the first time in there lives. My brother 29 years and his wife 31 year. Props to that. Man, I wish I could have this self control. Heres to me trying....
4 Hollas | Holla @ ya boy

Coming this fall.... [16 Apr 2007|12:38pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Europe Part Deux. In the making. If all goes as plan i hope to hit all of the places I haven't hit yet. Including:
Stockholm, Sweden
Copenhagen, Denmark
Valencia, Spain
Lake Como, Italy
Pisa, Italy
Prague, Czech Republic
Warsaw, Poland
Berlin, Germany
Geneva, Switzerland
Dublin, Ireland
Cannes, France

Returns to: Amsterdam, Munich, Rome, and Florence
Possibly: Dubrovnick, Sarajevo, Greece, Istanbul and some of east Europe if I can get scott aboard.

Its not a "IF" now, its a "WHERE" I am going. I played out all possible scenarios and I WILL NOT be in school this fall. Ill either be done by the end of the summer or in the spring.

SO that being said jeff, and I will be gone to Europe for 3 weeks and I will probably leave early to go with Jackie P. @ the end of August.

Get ready Europe, here I come, again.

Holla @ ya boy

[13 Apr 2007|11:53am]
Life is good :-)
Holla @ ya boy

Change of Heart [05 Apr 2007|01:34am]
[ mood | content ]

I have now decided im going to post, but not complain. There is plenty going on in my life that I want to look back on, and remember. My life is going in so many directions right now, its kinda crazy! I started working back at the theater b/c, bottom line I need money. It may just be temporary, but that is okay. I enjoy working in the box office, now where I am, ten times better than the stand. The only down side to this job is the gossip, which I always get an earful of.
It's okay though, b/c I have decided im not going to live in my shell anymore, and I'm going to get out there and be someone. SO here is what I have done:
1) started running, especially on nice days. And u know what, it is great, b/c " I have never been so alone, and I have never been so alive." I think I just decided im going to use a lot of music quotes in this journal entry b/c #1 I CAN and #2 music is single handily one of gods greatest creations.
2) I am starting to take more initiative in trying to get done with school by the end of the summer. This way I can take the fall off and hang out in Europe and Australia, and then go to grad school in Bolder, DC, Chicago, Seattle, or New York. That way I can really get involved in making a difference in this world, and meet new cool people that are all united for one cause. People that are happy you are there and a really ready to get out there and do something.
3) Im hopefully (figures crossed) going to get a job at Creative Alliance as an intern this summer. They are the top ad firm in Louisville, and with this experience, if I decide to go into this field later on in life, I can pretty much punch a ticket for the bigger ad firms in Chicago and New York.
4) I have stopped eating crap food, more specifically sweets... which I am so addicted too. I think I can really go without eating things like hamburgers and candy unless others give them to me.
5) I have told Sarah that I don't want her to speak to me again till she is willing to see me as something more than some kind of womanizer. When she is willing to do this, if she ever is, I'd really like to be good friends with her, and the rest of her friends as well, because they are all really nice + cool people. But, I don't know if I will ever hear a word from her again, but I think I have come to except whatever will happen with that. I hate to throw away 2 + years of dialogs with my best friend, but I refused to be seen as some kind of womenizer when I clearly am not. And I will not tolerate someone talking about me behind my back.
6) getting ready for my brothers wedding plus bachelor party plus finals all in the same week. Its gonna be chaos at the end of April, but I'm ready for it. BRING it on!

And you know what, I'm going to go out with my buddy Jeff tomorrow night to the Granville, and if I met a girl that seems really cool, Im not going to hesitate to go up to her and introduce myself. I'm done with being passive, I'm done with living in a box. To life, and to this coming year. I look forward to it, and all the obstacles that come with life.

"Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead, yesterday is a promise that you have broken. DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES, this is YOUR LIFE, and TODAY is all you ever got now! And TODAY is all you will EVER HAVE! DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES.... THIS YOUR LIFE!" :-)

Holla @ ya boy

[29 Mar 2007|01:03am]
I'm done living in a box. Im done with it. And I want to be done with the past... so i think im done with this journal thing.

Besides that, I love sunny days, and i love feeling good, but the sun isnt out everyday, and it isn't the past, so I gotta stop living there. And lets just be honest, that's all im doing here. And it continues to hurt me. I hate looking at my life, and thinking how good it is, then I look at others and my life feels like crap.

I just want to be done with school, and get out in the world and do something im passionate about. I want to make a difference, and I want to meet someone who appreciates that.

Just trying to live the dream, aren't we all.

All I know is I like going out with my good buddy jeff to Cumberland Brewery like tonight. It feels wonderful out today. I love talking about life...but, I come home and cant go to sleep and fall off my cloud when I look at the real reality of things.

I mean what, its either Im suppose to make u feel jealous for what I have or make u feel sad, and I dont want either... I just want to live my life. I want people to like who I am, but they don't.

Don't worry Im not going to post anymore publicly, so ill spare everyone my bitching and moaning.
Holla @ ya boy

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